i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
