So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
