So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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