Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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