I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
