Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
