After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
