We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
