to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
