Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
