She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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