Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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