so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
this boner is exhausting
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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