my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
