just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
