Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize