At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
