My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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