Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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