i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
