Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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