either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I puked a lego.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Randomize
