Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
