If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
even my farts smell like vagina
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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