This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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