do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
