how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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