Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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