Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
