dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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