the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
