He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
