We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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