It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize