I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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