You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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