Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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