No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
