taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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