I'm going to jail i love you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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