I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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