Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
