She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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