So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
