dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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