yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
