i wish my penis had a tongue
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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