Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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