I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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