He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
