You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize