Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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