My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
