Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
