WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
