I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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