I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
