Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
