She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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