My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
