Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
