dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize