I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
