hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize