so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
