Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
