Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
