Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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