Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've blown a few things in my day
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
FUCK WHALES
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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