we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize