So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
