Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
