is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
if only i could text you this smell
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
