At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
we're so committed to being not committed
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
