Don't you send me to vm
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
