I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize