Your tits are I can't wait for
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
