there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
