white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
