my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
